


Déjà Vu

by Enigma_TM



Series: Musket Shots [3]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen, Minor Canon character death, Missing Scene, PTSD, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigma_TM/pseuds/Enigma_TM
Summary: For Aramis, things always follow an unsettling circle.**************************************************The S1 E1 missing scene we all needed but realized it only after watching S1 E4. You know what I mean.





	Déjà Vu

He had been the one to spot them first.

Of course he had.

He would know, right? He would know better than most.

He has seen it happen, once. He would know the exact reason for those harbingers of death to flock together. For a long time, he had even believed himself to be a part of that macabre reason.

" _They shot them like animals and then ripped them off their uniforms."_

Marsac had ripped off his uniform.

He didn't even look back.

_"Help us find them and we will get justice..."_

Justice?

It has been years since he came out of that cursed forest. Years. What justice has he been able to mete out to the perpetrators of the massacre? What peace could he assure his brothers' souls?

Instead, he has spent his time picking up silly barfights with the Cardinal's men, bedding women, fooling around on Porthos' birthdays, fussing and preening on his debonair appearances, bringing nothing but trouble at his commanding officer's doorstep.

_"The lone survivor. The only one to return from the massacre where everyone else was butchered. Doesn't it make you wonder? Why him? Out of the twenty two, why **just him?** "_

Exactly.

For years, he has been asking God the same question.

_Why just him?_

If not to punish those behind the deplorable act, why had he been spared? To spend the rest of his life living with the guilt of his failure? To have his presence felt like a cursed reminder to everyone about that doomed night? That night when death danced with abandon at their camp.

_Twenty dead Musketeers._

Now Cornet and his men are also gone. Devoured by the snow and the forest and left for the ravens to lay claim over. Just like the others.

He could do nothing to save them.

Nothing.

Just like the others.

The birds always reached them before he could.

Just like Marsac walked away before he could reach him.

There was nothing he could do about it.

There was nothing.

No justice.

No respite.

No peace.

No end.

"Aramis!"

"What?" his eyes immediately starts scanning the surroundings while his hand automatically goes for the pistol at his side.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down! We're not in any danger," exclaims a familiar yet alarmed voice.

Porthos has the hand not gripping reins of his animal raised towards him to underscore his point. The young Gascon- d'Artagnan, he recalls- riding on the extreme left, is openly staring at him on the other hand.

"Then why..."

"I was trying to get your attention for some time. You were... not responding and a little distracted," Porthos says.

"You were talking to yourself," d'Artagnan blurts out, still staring wide-eyed at him.

Finding himself at an uncharacteristic loss for words, Aramis directs his gaze away from his companions. He feels his cheeks heating up even against the chilly breeze.

He can hear the horse trotting next to his move closer.

"Hey," Porthos whispers while resting a hand gently on his shoulder. "You alright?"

"Yes." The answer is prompt, almost reflexive.

When he looks up, he can see the skepticism, mixed with concern, written on his friend's face like an open book.

_You can lie to me. But you can't fool me, brother._

"I know what's bothering you," the big Musketeer states.

Aramis sighs.

"It's... it's just...too..."

"Familiar?" his friend supplies.

He nods. "Why Porthos? Why does it keep happening?"

The grip on his shoulder tightens.

"Why?" he asks before looking away once again.

"You know I am not good at answering these questions. Especially if even you can't," he hears Porthos say.

He brings his gaze back on his brother. The rueful smile on his face tells it all.

_But I will be there for you. For as long as you need me._

The reassurance that his brother will always be there to have his back changed something inside him.

Porthos will be there for him.

But right now, _they_ needed to be there for Athos.

"Trust me my friend, I shall be fine," Aramis tells his fellow Musketeer.

Porthos' answering gaze is piercing, searching for the slightest trace of feigned confidence in his friend.

He can point out the exact moment when Porthos is satisfied with his assessment. And when he nods, Aramis can see the the understanding and trust in his brother's eyes.

Sure, he has his issues.

But they are nothing he cannot handle for the sake of a brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that d'Artagnan got kinda sidelined. But at that point, he was more or less a stranger and wasn't privy to Aramis' problems, so it wouldn't have made any sense to include him in the conversation. I promise his fans to make it up in a future story. Just have a little patience :)
> 
> My thanks to everyone who took their time to read this. Please let me know what you think!


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